


Rita and the Case of Mistah Steel's Birthday Surprise

by Branin-Gold (AlbionRaine)



Category: The Penumbra Podcast
Genre: Hopeful Ending, Juno Steel Needs a Hug, Juno's birthday, M/M, Reunions, Rita tells a story, and so does Peter Nureyev, like seriously, no beta we die like men, the whole fic is rita talking, this was supposed to be fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-27
Updated: 2018-12-29
Packaged: 2019-09-28 11:29:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17182124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlbionRaine/pseuds/Branin-Gold
Summary: It's Juno's birthday, so Rita's got another surprise planned out for him. And this one goes of without a hitch!Well...Sort of...





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I know Juno's birthday technically passed a few days ago, but a muse will strike when a muse will strike, so here we are

“Boss, before we go in there, you gotta promise not to get mad. Cause I know you don't much like surprises, and you don't want a big deal made of your birthday, but I think you're really gonna like this one! And it took a lot of doing on my part, so even if you don't you should-”

“Rita, Rita stop,” Juno said, interrupting her increasingly hard to follow ramble, “Just show me whatever it is.”

“Okay Mistah Steel, but don't get mad, remember?”

Juno opened his mouth to respond as Rita pushed the door open, and what - or rather, who - he saw made him stop dead in his tracks.

“Nure-” Juno hesitated as his brain caught up with the reality of the situation.

Peter Nureyev, the master thief who was supposed to be off making trouble across the galaxy and leaving Mars far behind him, was in Juno's apartment. But even more confusingly...

“Are you trying to climb out the window?”

Nureyev looked up, meeting Juno's eyes as he flashed a blinding smile and raised an eyebrow playfully, “Well, it made you look so good, I thought I’d give it a shot.”

Juno felt like he was dying, or perhaps he'd already died, although he couldn't decide if this was supposed to be heaven or hell. He knew he should say something, anything... Apologise perhaps, or beg Nureyev to stay, and yet his brain failed to supply anything at all.

Nureyev’s smile dropped slowly as Juno remained frozen in place.

“This was a mistake.” he said quietly, and reaffirmed his grip on the window frame as he looked to Rita, “I’m sorry it didn’t work out the way you hoped...”

With that he was gone, probably for good this time, because Juno wasn’t so lucky as to get a third chance. Not when he’d so royally screwed up the first two.

 

“Mistah Steel?” Rita questioned softly, as if she was worried he would bolt if she spoke to loudly

“Yeah... Yeah I’m fine,” Juno sighed, tearing his eyes away from the empty window to look at her, “What was your surprise for me?”

“Well Boss, Mistah Nureyev was supposed to be the surprise, but I guess he didn’t want to be a surprise after all...”

“Mr Nurey-” Juno paused as, for the second time, his brain caught up to all the information he was presented with, “He told you his name?”

“You said you wouldn’t get mad, you’re not getting mad are you?”

Juno sighed, “I’m not mad, I’m just-”

“And don’t you say disappointed, cause people always say that like somehow it’s better when really everyone knows that it’s so much worse”

“I’m not disappointed either, Rita, I’m just really, really confused.”

“Oh, if that’s all then I should tell you _all_ about what happened...”

 

\---

 

See, it all started a few weeks ago when I was thinking to myself, what should I do for Mistah Steel’s birthday? Or, Oh! Maybe it started on your birthday last year! When you got those mysterious flowers that didn’t have a card or anything but _you_ knew who they were from. Or or or, did it _really_ start with that case with the mask and the Kanagawas when you met Agent Glass?

Hey, don’t give me that look Mistah Steel.

Alright already, a few weeks ago it is, jeez can’t a girl catch a break around here?

 

So there I was, a few weeks ago, and I was thinking now what should I do for the Boss’s birthday? Cause the movie last year was nice and all, and I know he said he didn’t want to make a big deal out of it, but maybe I just wanna do something nice for him, y’know? So then I was thinking about _last_ year, and how you got those flowers delivered to you, and even though they didn’t have a note or nothing you still had this look like you knew who sent them. One of those looks like out of the streams, when the dashing love interest who’s been missing for years and believed to be dead makes themselves known to the thoughtful, lovesick protagonist. So I thought, why not try to find the person that sent the flowers?

Only problem was, I didn’t know what it was that told you who they were from. But I _did_ remember the way you’d said what kind of flowers they were, roses and dahlias, so-

 

\---

 

“Dahlias and roses”

“What was that Mistah Steel?” Rita asked, eyeing Juno closely

“I said it was dahlias and roses” Juno said, only a little louder than his initial statement, he shuffled from side to side a bit, and Rita nodded

“That’s what I said, roses and dahlias.”

“No, no, it’s dahlias and... You know what nevermind,” Juno sighed, “Keep going”

“Well, as I was saying...”

 

\---

 

I remembered the way you’d named the flowers, so I thought that was as good a place to start as any, and maybe dahlias and roses was a reference to something that would lead me right to the sender. So I did some research, and did you know that there was a whole language made out of flowers on ancient Earth, Mistah Steel? Doesn’t that sound like so much fun? And wildly impractical, I mean, what are you supposed to do? Just carry around a whole ton of flowers everywhere you go incase you need to ask someone where the bathroom is?

Anyway, so I tried to translate the bouquet you got but according to everything I found it could either mean “Come away with me” or “Betrayed by love” and those are two _very_ different things, Mistah Steel, so I don’t think that was very...

Mistah Steel? Boss are you okay? You’ve gone very- Okay, okay, I’m moving on then, sorry.

 

So I wasn’t having much luck with the whole language thing, but I was talking to Frannie about it, and _she_ said maybe Ro- Sorry, Dahlia Rose was a person. But that didn’t lead me anywhere either, until I was going through some of our old case files, y’know in case it was a code name or something, and I couldn’t find anything there, but I _did_ find a few notes about the Oasis Casino Resort, even though you never told me you went there. So I thought, maybe _that’s_ the connection.

And _that_ lead to me looking through all of the check-ins the hotel’d had, and I didn’t see a reference to a Dahlia Rose, but I _did_ see that a Duke Rose had checked in with a plus one right around that time when you disappeared and came back missing an eye. So I looked at their security footage, and whaddaya know but I saw you there Mistah Steel, and looking awful pretty too if I may say so Boss.

 

Anyway, it was pretty obvious that if you were there, then something had to have happened. So I kept looking through the footage, and he was hard to spot, but I eventually caught sight of who I assumed was Duke Rose on a camera feed that I don't think he was aware of, cause he'd done such a good job of keeping his face off all the others. And as I'm watching him, and I'm watching you watching him, I'm thinking to myself 'he looks familiar’. Like when I'm watching a new show and I don't know who the actors are yet but I'm pretty sure I've seen them before. You can always tell y'know, you keep watching long enough and you start to see all the other characters bleed through just a little bit, it doesn't matter how good their makeup is or how different the situation, you can always tell if you know how to look. So I'm watching this guy, and I'm thinking he's familiar, and then it hits me, I've seen him twice before, only one of those times I didn't get a good look at him cause it all happened so fast, but I knew he was familiar at the time although I just thought he had one of those faces y'know? I mean, you don't expect a delivery guy to be undercover or something do you Mistah Steel?

So I'm watching the security feeds and I'm keeping my eye on Duke Rose, and I remember where it is I've seen him before. He was the delivery guy that brought you those flowers on your birthday like I just said, but even more importantly he was Agent Rex Glass!

But you knew that already, I mean you were with him after all.

 

So now that I knew who it was I was tracking down, I took to watching the newsfeeds for any trace of him. I remembered you mentioned something about Agent Glass actually being a thief after the mask case, so I was watching for any high stakes thefts, and I did find a few that seemed like it might be him. There was a set of-

 

\---

 

“Don’t.” Juno said, “Don’t tell me what he stole, I don’t want to know.”

If he knew, he’d have to do something about it, and that was pretty much the last thing he wanted.

“Okay Boss, if you say so”

 

\---

 

As I was saying, there were a few thefts that looked like they _could_ be him, but by the time they made it to the feeds he'd be long gone. If I was gonna find him, I had to predict where he was gonna be. So I got a facial recognition program from the HCPD, and I modified it a bit to find similar faces to his out of any feed, new or old, public or not. I wasn't really expecting this to work right away of course, after all he'd been so good at hiding his face from the cameras in the Kanagawa Mansion and at the Oasis, that I didn't think I'd find much. And I didn't, not how I expected to anyway, Mistah Steel, instead of big sensational heists, I found a really, really old report about a boy trying to take on the Brahmese government, and he was young, so young it was hard to be sure it was same guy, but when you looked closely you could see it. So I looked into the story some more, and I found out his name.

I wasn't really sure what to do with this information though, I mean, what good is having one name out of so many? I already had Rex Glass and Duke Rose, what was any different about Peter Nureyev? And then it hit me, I hadn't really noticed at the time cause I was so wrapped up in finding out as much as I could, but the story about Mistah Nureyev was really hard to get to, as if someone had tried to scrub it clean off the record. And if someone had gone to the effort of doing _that_ , either they didn't want anyone to know the Guardian Angel System had nearly failed, _or_ they didn't want anyone to know it was them that caused the damage.

So I started asking around to see if anyone knew a Peter Nureyev, and I wasn't very choosy about who I asked, I wanted people to know I was looking for him, see.

I got a few false leads, people pretending to be Mistah Nureyev cause they thought they could get something from me. But I knew none of them was real until I got a message asking what I wanted to stop asking for him. So _I_ said I wanted to meet him. Someplace crowded, so no one could pull any funny business, and _he_ said he’d be on Mars for the next few weeks. And I was all like, ‘oh _are_ you? Fancy that’ but I didn’t want nobody to see me with him in case it got back to you and ruined the surprise, Boss. So I asked him to meet me at this cute little cafe Frannie told me about on Phobos, and _he_ said that was all fine, but how was he to recognise me? Cause he didn’t know I was me after all, I was very careful about that cause I didn’t want nobody coming after us, so I told him not to worry about that, because I would recognise him. But what name should I call him, cause I can’t imagine he’d appreciate Nureyev being called out in such a busy place.

 

\---

 

Juno scrubbed at his face “Is this necessary?”

“Well yeah, Boss, I’m telling you what happened!”

“Okay, okay, what happened when you met him then?”

“But that’s skipping-” Rita caught Juno’s stoney glare, “Okay, if you wanna miss all the important bits then fine.”

 

\---

 

So I got to the cafe, and I was way earlier than we arranged to meet, because the shuttles were really weird and I gotta admit I miscalculated a little on how much time I’d need to get there, but Mistah Nureyev was already waiting for me in one of the booths near the back. So I slid in opposite him all cool, like I was in one of my shows, and said “Hello, Mistah Ballentine, fancy seeing you here.”

And then _he_ said “Rita? Why are you here? What does Juno want?”

So _I_ told him that you didn’t know I was there, and I don’t think he believed me at first, but then I told him all about how you ain’t been the same since you came back without your eye, and how much those flowers last year meant to you, even though you’d never admit it.

And I dunno, but I guess that convinced him enough to agree to come here today. I offered to let him in myself, but he said not to worry about it. But well, I guess he changed his mind just before we got here cause he was climbing out the window, and even if it _was_ a beautiful parallel to how you first met, y’know, with you climbing out the window and all, it was still super sad, Mistah Steel, cause now he’s gone again, and I just don’t understand it. Cause it  sounded like he really truly loves you, so I don’t know why he keeps leaving.

 

\---

 

Rita pouted as her story trailed off, and Juno groaned

“You’ve got it all wrong, Rita” he said, not daring to look her in the eyes. She’d been so invested in the love story that apparently was his life, but she’d been working from flawed intel.

“Got what wrong?”

“He didn’t leave,” Juno took a deep breath, “I did.”

“ ** _WHAT?!_ **”


	2. Chapter 2

“ **_WHAT?!_ ** ”

Peter nearly lost his footing from where he was perched just below Juno’s window at the sudden screech. He had meant to be far away by now, and to never look back again, but he’d paused when Rita had started explaining how she’d found him. He did need to know, it was all loose ends he’d have to tidy up after all.

 

By rights, he should leave now, Rita had finished her story, and whatever came next would only serve to break his heart further.

“I left him,” Juno said, so weakly that Peter could barely hear it, “We were going to run away together, explore the galaxy, leave this city behind. But I- I left. In the middle of the night I just got up and left him sleeping alone.”

“Mistah  _ Steel! _ ”

There was a harsh thunk, and Peter almost felt bad for the cruel joy it gave him. Almost.

“ _ Ow! _ Rita! What-”

“How could you do that to poor Mistah Nureyev? I thought you were better than that, Boss! That’s the worst possible way to leave someone! No one deserves that.”

“No. They don’t. Least of all him...”

“So why’d you do it, Boss?”

“Because that’s just it, Rita. He deserves so much better than someone who would get up and leave him in the middle of the night. Better than someone like me. It was only a matter of time before I hurt him, and the longer it took, the worse it would be.”

Peter bit his lip, and readjusted his position to allow him to peak over the windowsill. Juno had his back to the window, but the way he clenched his fists and kept his head pointed resolutely at the floor spoke of a lady broken beyond what Peter could have imagined. Rita looked sympathetic, but uncertain, and she caught his eye through the window, offering him a sad smile that Peter didn’t reciprocate.

 

“You don’t know that, Boss...”

“But I do. Because that’s what always happens. The more I care about someone, the more I end up hurting them. And I can’t put Nureyev through that. I love him too much.” Juno’s voice cracked just a little, and Peter gave up all pretense that he was going to just walk away, and quietly climbed back in the window, “I shouldn’t. We should be on opposite sides, but he’s a hero just as much as he is a criminal, and so loyal and caring. He deserves someone who’ll be just as good to him as he is to them, someone who  _ can _ travel the galaxy with him. Not a broken lady who can’t leave the messed up city he grew up in.”

“Oh Juno...” the words had left Peter’s lips before he could stop them, whether it was a prayer or a plea he couldn’t tell, but it caused Juno to whirl around to face him, eye wide.

Before he could second guess himself, Peter did the only thing he could think to do in the moment. He closed the distance between them and folded Juno into a crushing hug, before running his fingers through his lady’s hair and tugging just enough to pull him in for a kiss filled with desperation, a kiss they both could have drowned in given half the chance.

 

Juno looked up into Peter’s eyes as they pulled apart, “Nureyev, Peter, I-”

“Hush, Juno,” Peter pressed a soft kiss to his forehead, “There’s plenty of time for that later. And perhaps somewhere a little more... Private.”

“Private? But this is my apartment” Juno paused as Rita’s internal squealing became audible and she started clapping in excitement, “Oh.”

Peter smiled into Juno’s hair and sighed, perhaps things might work out after all.


End file.
